Review: BLAKKR and a burger

Cristeta Boarini
Apr 10, 2015
2 min read

BLAKKR is, hands-down, the most metal craft beer on the martket. I'm talking windmilling-hair, battle axe guitar, full-on Devil worshipping in Finnish, hardcore METAL.

Surly Brewing Co. released its 2015 batch on Monday at Turtle's Bar and Grill in Shakopee, also home to the slightly-less metal Valleyfair amusement park, Canterbury Park racetrack and Minnesota Renaissance Festival.

A co-production between Real Ale Brewing Co., Three Floyds Brewing Co., and Surly, BLAKKR is an Imperial Black Ale kicking teeth at a whopping 10 percent ABV. Simcoe and El Dorado hops give this brew bright lemony notes amid a dark, velvety sea of bitter, roast and booze. Like most Surly beers, BLAKKR has oats added into its mash for supreme mouthfeel and head retention.

When BLAKKR exploded onto the craft beer scene in 2014, many balked at the $20 per 4-pack price. On draft at Turtle's for $5 per 12-oz., BLAKKR will cost more than a Bud, but will have you seeing stars with only one drink rather than three.

In order to drive home after one of these black beauties requires a large intake of carbs and fat to soak up that 10 percent ABV. Enter the Dreamburger.

If BLAKKR is anarchy and loud music, the Dreamburger from Turtle's Bar and Grill is temptation and sin. Piled on a burger that's cooked to your temperature (and actually comes out as per your order), are strips of thick-cut bacon and an oozing dollop of house-made chive cream cheese. Order it fully loaded for lettuce, tomato and fried onions. Did I mention you can substitute the side of fries for tots? And that Mondays are half-off burgers night at Turtle's? Two beers, two burgers plus tip cost only $25.

All told, it's the kind of meal that lights up all those primordial pleasure receptors in the brain. From the food: greasy, salty, and a symphony of crunchy, chewy, moist, meaty, fatty textures. From the beer: an eye-popping palate cleanser that's both smooth and acidic. The flavors from each are so dominant that they completely obliterate the other. They don't clash, but rather shove each other out of position, like moshers in a pit.

The combo is so good that the guy next to me flagged down the barmaid and said, "I'll have what she's having."

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